How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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