I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
