Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you will always have a special place in my vag
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
