"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
