just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
