i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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