this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
