He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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