i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
