i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
