i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
