Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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