No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
