Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
