yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
