Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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