After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize