Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
