We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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