Having a random hookup so left but love u
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
