oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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