I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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