I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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