I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
