Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
