The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
