Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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