i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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