Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
