am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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