Are we in a gay sports bar?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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