I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
