i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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