fuck your aforementioned shoe
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
