Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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