I'm really into asian looking animals
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
