i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
What a fucking waste of an outfit
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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