I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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