No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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