i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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