what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
where are my eyebrows?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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