when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
