i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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