Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
