She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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