let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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