He is such a slut. More and more my type.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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