this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
pop tarts are not kleenex
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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