Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize