i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
