My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
