and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
