should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
