Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
two words: eviction party
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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