Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
