He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
