I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize