Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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