Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
