I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize