just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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