That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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