Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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