I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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