my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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