dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
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