but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
