plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize