I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
