goodnight i made you a song goodbye
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
