Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
