I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
